fuck fuck fuckity fuck. world cut me some slack before i go insane in the fucking membrane. i want to explode and also be swallowed into a glorious hole of nothingness at the same ^.^
excuse the word vomit for this is a post for me to vent without seeming like an attention seeking unappreciative little bitch. Ive never written on here and nor do i think anybody looks at my page, its bad that i dont even know how this damn website works yet i feel the need to write on here because writing this shit down on paper just feels wrong.
im fed up. i want out. i want to go back to my normal damn life. when i wasnt resentful of anybody and everybody who is able to go about their day to day lives without being so doped up on opiates amongst other things, that the police have stopped and questioned them. its turning me into a bitter cow who just mopes around all day waiting for the muscle spasms and hoping for one day that i dont vomit up my fucking lunch. im miserable. what makes it worse is i put on this “IM SO DAMN HAPPY IM SHITTING OUT RAINBOWS” act to avoid every conversation i have being about my damn health problems. Its not that i dont need to talk about them, because i do. but the questions i get over and over again of: “why isnt my shoulder better yet?” and “there must be SOMETHING the doctors can do?” just make me feel worse and get really tiresome to explain over and over again. i wish i could answer these questions because, believe me, i ask myself them everyday. why ISNT my shoulder better?? i dont know. i wish it would hurry up and get better instead of deteriorating more because i cant do this. i dont feel strong enough to deal with this amount of shit anymore. ive alienated the majority of my friends - the ones who counted anyway, pushed them all away probably past the point of repair just because im so damn bitter i cant stand for anyone to be happy when im not. so whats left? just little old me struggling to cope at university, pretending im having a great time to my parents because whenever i dont they effectively say “told you so”.
fab. it feels great to be me.
Blink-182 Made Fun of One Direction 11 Years Before They Existed | BuzzFeed
2000: Blink 182 parodies cheesy boy bands at cliche boy band video locations, including Santa Monica Beach.
2011: One Direction unknowingly uses the same shot of Santa Monica Beach in an actual cheesy boy band video.
oops i failed so i’ll just snuggle the ground instead